Rich Bitch Step 11: Being Under, Over and On Top of “The Man”

Catch up here: Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. Part 7. Part 8. Part 9. Part 10.

Rich Bitch
Rich Bitch by Nicole Lapin

This chapter is about getting what you want, being the CEO of your own life. How to ask and get a raise, how to be a good manager, how to find a financially stable dude in your life. It’s not just about how you manage your personal finances, but also how you go after what you want and use your knowledge in all aspects of your life.

Step 11:  Sticking it to the man.

There’s a stigma that women are less likely to ask for a raise than an man. It’s frustrating to think about it this way, but women are seen as meek and mild, meanwhile men are seen as aggressive and more likely to ask and get a raise. Lapin acknowledges this, but also says, so what? You can get a raise to and you don’t have to be the aggressive alpha male to do it, you just need to have a plan.

  1. Think about timing: Asking right after you landed a major deal or successfully completed a project is better than asking at a time when your boss is stressed or the companies low profits were reported.
  2. Do your homework: Look into what the average salary is for your position on websites like or And go into the meeting with a specific number in mind.
  3. Gather evidence: Make a list of awesome things you’ve done while at the company and remind your boss about it–a little bit of self-promotion will go a long way.
  4. Put community first: Make sure your boss understands how much of an asset you’ll be at the company and how you see yourself there long-term.
  5. Get creative:  If a bump in salary is not an option, ask for a better health package, extra paid days off, or higher share in the company stock.

Next, Lapin goes over how to be a good boss, it basically comes down to being respected an fair. Trust your employees, occasionally buy them sandwiches, you know, basic decent actions that make your employee feel valuable. This type of thinking is important when you look at your current boss and how you interact with them. Do you feel respected? Do they trust you? Would you feel comfortable asking for a raise in the steps above? Being a boss is a relationship that should be cultivated if it’s to be successful.

The third section of the chapter is about getting a financially stable man in your life. Not that you need a man to support you! Or that you even need a man at all, but if you are with someone you want their money ideas to be compatible with your own. Lapin uses two examples of going on dates where either the men didn’t want to talk about her career or didn’t think women should work (!). These people were not worth her time to continue seeing and she quickly moved on to someone who did want those things and were supportive of her life.

Nearly all relationships end because of money issues, whether lying about finances or bad money management habits, it’s something that is completely avoidable if you’re both honest to yourself and your “Rich Dude” (the equivalent of a “Rich Bitch”). Talking about finances is something that should come up as you date and become more serious. Besides, if you’re on the same page, your relationship will be stronger!

Topics of casual conversation: Do you want to travel? Buy a house? Get married and have kids? What kind of stuff do you want to splurge on? And are you compatible on your answers to these questions?

More serious discussion (that happens over time, not at once): credit reports, budget, financial plan together (like steps 1-10), and your money secrets (debt)!

Once all this has been eventually discussed, and you think you’re ready for the next step moving in together, here are some things that should be considered and possibly written down before you move in. Personally, I’m a big fan of the move-in pre-nup.

  • What would it look like if you divvy up what you have acquired together? Furniture, cars, money?
  • Will you use credit cards? Have a joint bank account?
  • Whose name is on the bills?
  • Who gets the dog??

And if marriage is on the table, there’s a whole other set of discussions to think about! Taxes, pre-nup, life insurance, wills! Gross!

To sum up, you are in control of your financial life, whether at work or at home. You can make decisions that are best for you and you don’t need a man to support your life or what you want to do.



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